Dr. Ruth Westheimer

Dr. Ruth Westheimer

Latest News: Dr. Ruth Passes Away at 96

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a renowned expert on sexual matters, passed away on July 12 in New York City at the age of 96. She is survived by her children, Miriam and Joel, as well as four grandchildren.

A longtime resident of Washington Heights in New York City, Dr. Ruth continued her groundbreaking work as a sex and relationships therapist until her final days. In November 2023, she was appointed as New York’s first ambassador of loneliness and was in the process of co-authoring a book on the subject, titled The Joy of Connections, set to be published on September 3.

Who Was Dr. Ruth?

Dr. Ruth Westheimer became a household name in the 1980s through her educational radio program, Sexually Speaking. Her interest in sex education was sparked by her experiences as a Holocaust survivor; after fleeing to the United States in 1956, she began her career at Planned Parenthood. By 1984, her nationally syndicated radio show led to numerous television appearances, newspaper and magazine columns, and the publication of over 40 books. Dr. Ruth passed away in July 2024.

Early Life and the Holocaust

Born Karola Ruth Siegel on June 4, 1928, in Frankfurt, Germany, Dr. Ruth was raised as the only child in a privileged Orthodox Jewish family. Her father, Julius Siegel, was a successful wholesaler, while her mother, Irma Siegel, was the daughter of a cattle rancher.

Dr. Ruth’s inquisitive nature was evident from a young age, as she often explored her father’s library, which kindled her interest in human sexuality. However, her childhood was abruptly disrupted in 1933 when the Nazis rose to power. The violence of Kristallnacht in 1938 shattered her family’s life; shortly after, her father was taken by the SS. In 1939, Dr. Ruth was sent to a Swiss school that transformed into an orphanage for Jewish girls, where she endured significant hardships and discrimination. She later believed her family perished in Auschwitz.

After World War II, Dr. Ruth emigrated to Israel, where she became a member of the Haganah, the underground Jewish militia. On her 20th birthday, she was injured in an explosion, sustaining serious injuries that would impact her for life.

Move to America, Family, and Career

Dr. Ruth married an Israeli soldier, David, in 1950, but the marriage ended after five years. She then moved to Paris to study psychology at the Sorbonne, where she met her second husband, Dan. Following her studies, she immigrated to New York City in 1956 with her infant daughter, Miriam, after receiving a restitution check from the West German government.

Struggling to support her daughter, Dr. Ruth worked as a housemaid while attending English lessons and night classes. In 1959, she earned a master’s degree in sociology and began working as a research assistant at Columbia University.

In 1961, while on a ski trip, she met Manfred “Fred” Westheimer, and they married later that year. Together, they welcomed a son, Joel, and Fred adopted Miriam. Their marriage lasted for 35 years until Fred’s passing in 1997.

Becoming Dr. Ruth

In the late 1960s, Dr. Ruth began working at Planned Parenthood in Harlem, where she found herself engaged in open discussions about sexuality. By 1967, she became the project director and pursued a doctorate in family and sex counseling at Columbia University. In the early 1970s, she took on the role of associate professor of sex counseling at Lehman College in the Bronx. However, after an unfortunate dismissal from Brooklyn College, Dr. Ruth reflected on the experience, likening it to her earlier feelings of rejection as a refugee from Germany.

Through resilience and dedication, Dr. Ruth Westheimer transformed her personal struggles into a pioneering career in sex education, leaving an indelible mark on society and the field of sexual health.

Sexually Speaking Radio Talk Show

Ruth’s life and career experienced a significant shift when she delivered a compelling lecture to New York broadcasters on the imperative need for sex education programming. Her aim was to challenge the prevailing silence surrounding crucial topics such as contraception and unplanned pregnancies. This impactful presentation caught the attention of Betty Elam, the community affairs manager at WYNY-FM, a radio station in New York City. In 1980, Elam extended an offer to Ruth, providing her with $25 per week to create “Sexually Speaking,” a 15-minute show that aired every Sunday shortly after midnight.

The show quickly garnered popularity, and Ruth, then in her early fifties, developed a devoted audience. More notable than her accent—described by The Wall Street Journal as a blend of Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse—was her candid yet humorous approach to discussions about sex and relationships. Ruth eschewed euphemisms, actively promoted safe sex practices, and advocated for the LGBTQ community and abortion rights. While her forthright and nonjudgmental manner endeared her to many listeners, it also drew criticism from conservative factions who perceived her support of contraception and sexual openness as threatening and irresponsible. Despite this backlash, Ruth maintained that her work fulfilled a crucial educational role. As she stated in Interview magazine, “We don’t have the luxury to not talk about sex.”

As the show’s success continued, producers expanded its duration to one hour and introduced a call-in segment, allowing listeners to pose their questions on air. The response was overwhelming, with phone lines inundated every Sunday night. Producer Susan Brown had the challenging task of screening calls to select the most pertinent and engaging queries. By the summer of 1983, “Sexually Speaking” attracted approximately a quarter of a million weekly listeners, underscoring a nationwide demand for Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s insights. By 1984, the show had achieved national syndication.

Dr. Ruth: Books, Television, and Beyond

Following this breakthrough, Dr. Ruth’s career flourished. Her influence extended to various media, including newspaper columns, a feature in Playgirl magazine, the Lifetime cable TV series “Good Sex! With Dr. Ruth Westheimer,” and even a board game. In November 1996, she launched a website offering daily sex tips and advice columns, later branching out into social media and YouTube. Throughout her career, she continued to teach, lecture, and maintain a private sex therapy practice.

A prolific author, Dr. Ruth penned over 40 books, including Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex (1983), Sex For Dummies (first published in 1995), and her autobiography, All in a Lifetime (1987). Her more recent titles include From You to Two and Stay or Go, both published in 2018, along with the 2019 children’s book Crocodile, You’re Beautiful!

Throughout her career, Dr. Ruth has received extensive recognition for her contributions to sex education and therapy, including an honorary doctorate from Trinity College in 2004 and the Medal for Distinguished Service from the Teachers College at Columbia University. In 2009, an off-Broadway play titled Becoming Dr. Ruth premiered, followed by another production of the same title at the Virginia Repertory Theatre in 2014. More recently, she was featured in the 2019 documentary Ask Dr. Ruth. In November 2023, New York Governor Kathy Hochul appointed Ruth as the first honorary “ambassador to loneliness,” highlighting her enduring influence and relevance in contemporary discussions about sexuality and mental health.